Cruel to be kind.
by heathethanoshkosh
Summary: Ok. Here I go again. Patricks point of view from bogey's party to when he drops kat home. ENjoy ( HEATH LEDGER FOREVER!!!)


Cruel to be kind.  
  
Authors note: This is my fourth Ten Things I Hate About You Fanfic. The movie was awesome and Heath Ledger is sooo, breathtakingly hot. Julia Stiles rocks as usual, and this is just my idea of what Patrick must have been thinking during Bogey's Party. My God did he look mighty fine in that movie or is it just me? I dunno about you but I'm going with the first one.  
  
By: Heath'sbabygirl.  
  
Summary: Patrick's opinion at Bogey's Party.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Setting: Bogey's Party  
  
Email me at: rileyshoulddie@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: I own nothing, although I wish that I owned Heath Ledger. Lemme just say that I like how they breed em' down under. Nuf said.  
  
My God could she walk any faster? She's been on power drive for the last fifteen minutes. Is she even tired? Not that I am, but Damn. We are headed up the stairs and the place is packed. I didn't even know this many people could fit in a house. Someone grabs me and I turn to see a horny, drunk-off-her-ass girl and she's all over me.  
  
"Kiss me!" she cries. I really don't have time for this right now. I stare as her and immediately look for someone to throw her on. I find a loner.  
  
"Kiss him." I say and turn her towards the guy. She looks at him and then she's off.  
  
"Oh, ok." She says.  
  
"Good." I reply and I walk off again trying to find Kat. It is so disgusting when someone is so damn drunk that they would throw themselves all over anyone. The boy has shouted something at me, I think it was a 'thank you', but I really couldn't care less. I'm trying to find Kat. How is it even possible to have someone right in front of you one second, and be gone the next. Literally. I walk awhile and then I see her. She's trying to tell something to Bianca but she just ignores her and walks off with Joey. Kat looks seriously ticked. I fight my way through the mosh pit of people in front of me.  
  
"Where have you-" I get cut off by someone. Some guy walks up with a tray of shot glasses before she can answer. He asks her if she wants one and she grabs one, knocking it back in one go.  
  
"What's this?" I ask, looking at him.  
  
"Right on sister!" he exclaims. Ok, now I'm pissed. I give him a look that say's 'back off cheese dick!' and that takes care of him, but not before she grabs another one.  
  
"I've been looking all over the place for you!" I cry.  
  
"I'm getting trashed man." She says in a fake surfer dude voice. "Isn't that what you're supposed to do at a party?"  
  
"I don't know, I say do what you want to do." I reply.  
  
"Funny you're the only one." She replies before walking off. "Later." She calls over her shoulder and then she's gone again. I want to follow her but it doesn't make any sense, she's not listening anyway. I swear some people just can't handle a party, and I have to say that I never thought that Kat would be one of them. I'm getting frustrated now. I keep on loosing Kat, she's drinking and drunk girls are throwing themselves at me. Perfect date huh? I don't know why I care so much. If I'm just in it for the money as I claim to be then I wouldn't really care about her, but I do. For some strange reason I do care, I'm worried that something bad might happen. To her. This is too weird. I want to get drunk right about now, but it's too hard. It takes much stronger, and much more alcohol than anything that there is here to get me drunk. I know that I can hold down my liquor, but I'm not so sure about Kat and that scares me like crazy. I am crazy. So know I'm back to finding Kat again. I think she's doing this on purpose. Just to annoy me. Behold her success. I'm just about ready to either leave her, or snap a leash on her neck. I've been walking around for about fifteen minutes when I see that one girl fervently making out with some guy. I swear to god that she can taste his stomach. It looks almost painful. I think I see Kat. I walk away when the guy suddenly grabs me by my shirt. He looks up at me and he looks elated.  
  
"Really, Really, thank you." He say's breathlessly, yet fervently and then he's back to shoving his tongue down her throat. I hurry over to where Kat is and she is more gone than when I lost her.  
  
"Hey, Kat why don't you let me have this one, alright?" I say taking it out of her hand.  
  
"No, this one's mine!" she protests grabbing it back and then she's gone again, only this time I follow her. Someone grabs my arm and I have to say I'm getting sick of it. It's Pretty boy Joey.  
  
"My, man how did you get her to do it!" he say's.  
  
"Do what." I ask really not in the mood for him.  
  
"Act human." He say's and I stare at him about ready to knock his block off. He is so deluded. She was always human, she just happened to be more interesting and express more ideas than that of hmmm. let's say. a doormat. I'm about to tell him this along with a few choice words but I lose his attention. He's focusing on Kat who has just jumped onto a pool table.  
  
To dance.  
  
By herself.  
  
Not good. Joey gestures towards her with a grin and then heads towards the table hooting and cheering her on along with everyone else. She dancing, and letting lose in front of everyone and I hate it. She's on her knees now and she's right in front of me but I'm not interested in that. I'm not impressed with her sensual movements; I just want her to stop. All I know is that if anyone so much as touches her I'm gonna go berserk and someone's gonna lose their spine. She's on her feet again and she swings around and bangs her head on a lamp. She wavers for a second and then falls backward in my direction. I catch her in my arms and lift her off the table trying to get her hair out of her face. Is she all right? Or more importantly is she conscious. I get my answer when she shakes me off.  
  
"Are you ok?" I ask.  
  
"I'm fine." She say's pushing me away. Right before she faints again and I catch her.again.  
  
"You're not ok." I say holding onto her and leading her out of the room. "Come on."  
  
"I just need to lay down for a while." She slurs.  
  
"You lay down and you'll go to sleep." I hate that she got hurt.  
  
"Sleep is good." She says grinning drunkenly.  
  
"No, not if you have a concussion." I say maybe a little too harshly. I'm so worried about her I really don't care about anything else. She needs to walk this off, I just hope that she can stay awake long enough. We're outside now and I look over and see a lawn chair. "Here," I say leading her over there. "Sit." I sit her down, and examine her. Her whole face is red, and her eyes are half closed but she's awake that's all I care about. Someone grabs my arm again and this time I'm about ready to swing on someone. I turn to see that it's Cameron. He looks heart broken.  
  
"I need to talk to you." He says.  
  
"I'm a little busy here." I say, trying to keep an eye on Kat. She's holding her head in her hands.  
  
"Can you give me a second?" he asks, and I give in. It looks pretty important. It had better be. "Look it's off, the whole thing is off." He says  
  
"What are you talking about?" What a minute, wasn't he all over this girl a few minutes ago?  
  
" She didn't want me, she wanted Joey the whole time." I don't have the time or the energy for this.  
  
"Cameron do you like the girl?" I ask plainly.  
  
"Well yeah."  
  
"Yeah and is she worth all this trouble?"  
  
"Well I thought that she was but-"  
  
"Yeah well either she is or she isn't. First of all, Joey isn't half the man you are, and second never let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you want." I hold him by his shoulders at arm's length. "Go for it!" I say and then I turn to see Kat sliding off the bench again and I catch her right before she hits the ground.  
  
"Whew!" She say's and I pick her up and head away from the party, leaving Cameron alone. He either loves her or he doesn't, either wants her or not. Things don't always have to be so complicated. I wrap one arm around Kat's waist and hold onto her elbow with the other. She is so tiny. One would never guess that such a small body could hold such power. I watch her play soccer all the time and I actually feel sorry for the people that she comes up against. She pounds the people like they are the ball. She seems so fragile now as I direct her up a hill towards a swing set. She hasn't spoken for a while, which is kinda weird. I figured that she would have a snappy comeback that you would need a pocket dictionary to understand. It's very quiet-  
  
"This is so patronizing." She protests. Forget everything I just said.  
  
"Leave it to you to use big words when you're smashed." I say trying to keep her hoisted up since she can barely stand.  
  
"Oh, I don't think so!" she says shrugging out of my arms. Of course she falls and then she starts crawling up the hill on her hands and knees.  
  
"Kaaat!" I say in a voice much like an annoyed parent trying to hold her by her waist to pick her up, but she won't stop moving, so I look like a big idiot bent over trying to get a hold on her while walking up a hill. She can be so difficult!  
  
Finally I get a hold on her and I pick her up wrap and arm around her waist, the other holding her hand. This time she leans against me and allows me to guide her. Finally she's done fighting.  
  
"Why are you doing all this." She asks as we near the swing set. Unfortunately she isn't done talking.  
  
"I already told you, you might have a concussion." I reply.  
  
"You don't care if I never wake up." She say's. I resent that comment.  
  
"Sure I do." I say smiling as I turn her around.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well cause then I would have to take out girls who actually like me." I say, which isn't far from the truth. The reason I like her so much is because she challenges me. She squints at me and sneers.  
  
"Like you could even find one." God I love this girl.  
  
"See! That, there! Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?" I say laughing. She wants to laugh as well, but I can tell her head hurts too much.  
  
"I just need to sit down for a while," she says. So I set her down on one of the swings, and then stand next to her. She sits there for a while, then stars to tilt backwards.  
  
"Geez!" I cry as I catch her right before she hits her head on the ground. Thank God for good reflexes, she's like a bloody weeble. I make sure that she won't fall off again and then sit back down on the swing.  
  
"No, what do they say?" I reply looking back down the hill. It's suddenly silent. Now I know that this is what I have wanted all night long, but the nobility of Kat keeping her mouth shut wears off after a while and then it's just eerie. I look over at her and she is.sleeping. Shit.  
  
"No, no, no wake up!" I say sliding off the swing and shaking her arms. It's not working. My hands slide up to stroke her face. She can't sleep, she may not wake up, and she might have a concussion! My heart is hammering against my chest and I'm frightened silly. "Come on, listen to me Kat, open your eyes!!" I cry shaking her hard. Her mouth is hanging open, but her eyes are open now as well, and that's all I care about. I can't believe how terrified I was and I'm still staring into her eyes anxiously and stroking her face, needing to be sure that she's completely awake. Finally I move away and stand up straight, still maintaining eye contact with her. She closes her mouth and quirks her head to the side.  
  
"Hey, your eyes have a little green in them." She says. I am taken aback at her words and I can't help but smile, and she smiles back at me. It's almost perfect, and then she vomits all over my shoes. I move away and sit back on the swing and stare at her. This night has been unreal. Trying to keep up with her at a party, then have her get drunk, then see her break down on a pool table. Then have her bang her head on a lamp, and then have to walk her around so she won't fall asleep and then slip into coma, only to have her puke all over a perfectly good pair of shoes. It's perfect really. I look over at her and she's still at it and I place my hand on her head stroking her soft hair. I kinda feel sorry for her. I wonder briefly how much liquor she's had.  
  
There's now way she's driving home. Not with me in the car anyway, so I push her towards the passenger side of her car. I get in and grab her keys from her bag. She doesn't object to this so I figure it's ok with her. Either that or she's too damn drunk to do anything about it. Half way to her house (Don't ask how I know the way, it's painful), she starts fiddling with the radio. That girl band 'Letters to Cleo' starts to play. I switch immediately. Not that it's a bad band or anything it just that I'm sure that I can find something better to listen to. She switches it back, and then I switch it back to my station.  
  
"I'm driving, so I get to pick the tunes." I say. No way I'm listening to that.  
  
"Yeah well it's my car." She says and switches it back. I think about switching it back, just to spite her but then I realize that I'm supposed to like this band, I was at their concert. So I leave it and continue driving. "When you were gone last year.. Where were you?" she asks all of a sudden. The great-unanswered question.  
  
"Busy." I reply. It's none of her business. I don't have to answer her.  
  
"Were you in jail?"  
  
"Maybe." I say. Why does she even care?  
  
"No you weren't." she say's. She confuses me.  
  
"Then why'd you ask?"  
  
"Why'd you lie?" Doesn't she get it? Sometimes lies are the only protection that you have. People leave me alone because of those rumors and I like it that way. I still don't know why she cares. I think that this is the end of the conversation but of course she doesn't.  
  
"I should do this." She says gesturing to the radio.  
  
"What?"  
  
"This." She says it as though it's obvious what she's talking about.  
  
"Start a band?" How did we get onto this subject again?  
  
"No install car stereos," she shoots back at me. I'm swear the next time she rag's on me I'm gonna tell her to invest in public transportation. "Yeah start a band." She says piping down. "My father would looooove that." She says sarcastically. I doubt that she would ask permission. She's way too feisty. I pull up to her house and turn off the engine. I look at the radio; that song is about to drive me mad, so I turn it off.  
  
"You don't strike me as the type that would ask your father for permission." I say.  
  
"Oh, so now you think you know me?" she says looking at me.  
  
"I'm getting there." I say looking back at her.  
  
"All people know about me is that I'm 'scary'" she says, and then she smiles to herself as if she finds it amusing. I want to tell her that she doesn't seem scary now but I afraid. I'm afraid of what it would mean if I did. Of what I might be forced to admit.  
  
"Yeah well, I'm no picnic myself." I reply. She's looking at me with a weird expression on her face: Halfway between admiration and fondness. The way she looks at me makes me feel naked; as if she's looking into my soul. She was the most amazing eyes. They make me feel weird; Light headed, and confused, and warm inside. I don't like being confused, the way I feel scares me so I look away at her house. It's silent, dark and it's huge.  
  
"So um." Come on Patrick find something to talk about anything! "What's the deal with your father is he a... he a pain in the ass?" I ask.  
  
"No he just want's me to be someone I'm not." She replies.  
  
"Who?" Who could he possibly want her to be other than herself? I wouldn't want her to change at all. Not even her constant talking.  
  
"Bianca." She said in a fake cheery/ditzy high school cheerleader voice. It's startlingly different.  
  
"Ahh, Bianca." Why the hell would he want Kat to be like Bianca! Kat is so refreshing, so different, so not a complete bore. I don't want to tell her this but I'll take a chance. "Well um, no offence, um I know everyone 'digs' your sister, but um, she's without." I look at her and she is staring at me again. Like that again. I don't know what to do I'm completely frozen.  
  
"You know, you're not as vile as I thought you were." She say's. She's smiling now, at me and I swear I think I might faint right here. She definitely doesn't look scary now. I can't help it, I laugh. She doesn't think that I'm vile. Very cool. She stares at me for a while and then she closes her eyes and leans in. She want's a kiss. She wants a kiss from me. To say that I want this would be a drastic understatement, so I lean in but then I remember. She's drunk. Not only may she not want this, but also she may not even remember. I don't want our first kiss to be like this. Shocking even myself, I turn away at the last minute. I turn away from her cause there is no way I can do this without kissing her. I want it too much.  
  
"Maybe we should do this another time." I say. I don't need to look at her to know that she is pissed. I can feel it. I look at her anyway. Ok, so maybe pissed was a little rash, how about furious. Crikey, she is at the point of evil right now. I don't know whether she is mad at herself or me but she opens the door and slams it shut, and stalks to her house. Yup, she's pissed all right. I know that it was the right thing to do, but I feel weird. Like I can't figure out what I'm afraid of. The fact that her anger, which is now officially directed to me, (which is not something that I would wish on Joey. scratch that Joey deserves it. a snake. I wouldn't wish her wrath upon a snake) may cause me to lose something near and dear to me (like I dunno.. my balls!) or the fact that I may not know how to make things better, I could lose her and for one second a few minutes ago I had her. Ok, fine so she was drunk, but she was also very sober, or was she? If she was drunk then I'm an ass, but if not then why was she so mad? I am in some very, very deep shit. 


End file.
